Brilliant Color

Bill O’Reilly Does Not Get It

When a liberal watchdog group posted a transcript of Bill O'Reilly's racially insensitive remarks about his shock at finding out that Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem, NY was just like any other restaurant, news shows began to question whether this "compliment" was racist. In response, O'Reilly says that the remarks were taken out of context. In fact, he posted the entire hour's comments on their website. O'reilly's show Listen for yourself. During the broadcast it appeared that the comments were made as a lead in to an interview with Juan Williams, however the problematic lead in was apparently taped after the interview.

Okay, so let's take him at his word, that the comments were meant to lift up blacks in the eyes of his sheltered listeners. Although some would argue that O'Reilly knew exactly what he was saying, let's also assume that the comments were his honest impressions. Does that mean that they are not indicative of a problematic mindset? To be sure, we are not talking about a true "Imus moment". It was actually a "Biden Moment." There were no overtly racist comments. What the comments seem to reveal is a very narrow minded perception of Black people. Did he really believe that Black entrepreneurs would not have a well run business? Was he really surprised to find that the patrons were not speaking profanely? Does he not know any black people?

The debate about whether the statements were racist or not is indicative of the cultural divide that exists within the U.S. That divide exists because as a nation we refuse to confront racial issues head on. Maybe if we talked candidly about race we could narrow that gap. But in order to do that maybe we all need to be ready to confront our own long-held stereotypical notions about people of other races.

Everything I need to know about success, I learned from my Grandma Billie, Part V

Successful women have confidence in themselves and others.

Billie knew that truly successful people are confident enough in their own abilities to recognize the talents of others. What distinguishes truly successful people from others is the understanding that success in life is not about competition with others. Successful people recognize other people's talent and nurture it because they are keenly aware that there is enough success in the world for every person willing to work for it. Over the years, Billie taught many dancers. Some dancers took lessons because their parents wanted them to learn. But some of her students had the same fire she had as a child and young adult. When she saw talent and desire, she always did what she could to push them toward their dreams.

One such protege was Jon Le. Billie taught him dance in Indiana. When she saw that he had the talent necessary to perform professionally, she did everything she could to push him to the next level. Download Dunham.pdf Billie was proud to be able to help Le achieve his dream because she knew that he would thrive if given a chance. Through his own hard work and a little bit of Billie's help, Le went on to a long career in dance abroad. Billie followed his career with pride because she knew that his success reflected positively on her abilities as a teacher.

Everything I need to know about success, I learned from my Grandma Billie, Part IV

Taking risks is the only sure way to succeed

Taking risks is the only sure way to succeed When I was in my early twenties, I remember having a conversation about my grandpa Duncan. (he is on the left in the picture) By the time we had this conversation he had been dead for several years but I could tell she missed him. It was then that she told me about there relationship. She told me that a friend of hers introduced them when my father was in his late teens. She told me that she was reluctant about being set up, but when they met for the first time, he told her that he was going to marry her. She replied that she thought he was right. The two went for coffee and a beautiful romance began. Six months later, they were married and she was moving to Michigan to start a new life with her husband. Ever the entrepreneur, once she was in Michigan she opened another studio and a wig shop. By then, times had changed a bit and her studio taught children of all ethnic backgrounds. She also became a civic leader taking leadership roles in her local chamber of commerce.

Billie took calculated risks that put her in a position to succeed. She had enough confidence in herself to take chances along the way because she trusted her instincts and her ability to make sound decisions. I am sure that along the way there were people who told her that she was crazy to take the chances she did, but she was undeterred because she trusted her own judgment. She had no idea where the risks she took would lead her, but she did know that if she wanted to get anywhere she had to take them.

Everything I need to know about success, I learned from my Grandma Billie, Part III

Life is not fair or easy, so spend your time focusing on the real issues.

Billie would want you to know that every life has turbulence. What is important is how you handle the rough patches. Billie spent nine years traveling and performing until she found herself unmarried and pregnant in a time when women were shunned for such behavior. This became a turning point in her life. Rather than abandon her love of dance, she chose to return to her hometown and begin a new chapter of her life. It surely was not easy for her to give up on that part of her dream, but rather than focus on the negative, she found a way to redefine success and excel.

Most mistakes are not catastrophic

Although she could have taken the birth of my dad as a setback or a premature end to her career, Billie decided to move forward. Seeing that young black girls were still barred from the white dance studios in her home town, she decided to open a dance studio. Over the years she must have taught hundreds if not thousands of girls to dance. She did it because she needed to provide for herself and her son, but she also made a conscious decision to stay focused on her love of dance. It was that perseverance that made her a successful business owner in the second act of her career.

Everything I need to know about success, I learned from my Grandma Billie, Part II

Billie's Lesson:  Success is individually defined but universally obvious.

If Billie were here she would tell you that you have to write your own definition of success. When she was a child she decided that she wanted to dance. She was not supposed to be able to become a dancer at the time because she was poor, with little access to formal training and she was not white. But from the moment she decided what success meant for her, she started taking steps toward making it happen. She listened to the little voice within her that gave her purpose and it never let her down. This is important because defining success for yourself is the key to fulfillment.

Billie would also tell you that one trait of successful people is being able to use your background and experiences to your advantage. Billie's path to success was built upon the things she learned as a child growing up in segregated Indiana. She never forgot that she was poor as a child. She never forgot that she was a person of color who was discriminated against. She turned those experience into inspiration for her dance. She used them because they made her different. She used them because they were a part of who she was, and it was those experiences that made her successful.

Everything I need to know about success, I learned from my Grandma Billie, Part I

An Introduction to Billie

About a year ago, I was asked to give a speech on leadership and success for a group of women at a regional grocery store chain. The group was made up of women in leadership roles at all levels of the company from assistant store managers to middle and upper management. When I was initially given the assignment, I drew a blank. I was used to giving speeches about how to prevent discrimination lawsuits and record keeping practices that ensure employment lawsuits can be defended, but this was different. I really had a hard time wrapping my head around what I had to share with the women, many of whom had several years more work experience than I did. I was truly at a loss and the deadline was looming in the horizon.

Around that time I had also just unexpectedly lost my grandmother, Billie Duncan. Her loss left me with profound grief and troubling questions about whether my life was on the right path. I had always looked upon my grandmother for inspiration and guidance about how I could be successful in life. I had taken great pride at the things she was able to achieve despite untold obstacles. She was born in segregated Indianapolis, Indiana in 1913. If she were here, she would tell you that she was practically born dancing because from a very young age she knew she would be a professional dancer. After graduating high school, Billie left Indiana to pursue her dream. That pursuit took her around the country in touring companies, performing in venues like the Cotton Club in Harlem. For nine years, she was a small part of the Harlem Renaissance, dancing along side and meeting such famous artists as Duke Ellington, Cab Calloway, John Barrymore and Orson Wells.

When she died, she left me several scrapbooks full of memorabilia and pictures from her early career that I cherish. Download billie_letter.pdf For two weeks I poured over every self-help book I could think of looking for inspiration, but nothing seemed to resonate. Troubled by my loss and unsure of where I was going with my own life, I really did not feel I had anything to offer others. I halfheartedly put together a few powerpoints from the books I had read, but nothing seemed to resonate. Finally, around midnight, the night before the speech, I started thinking about my grandmother's life and I realized that I could share some of the lessons I had learned from her. I quickly dug up some of her writing and pictures from her early life and drafted a presentation. Fortunately for me, Billie's story had meaning for the women at the grocery chain as well and the speech was a success. I share those lessons in the posts that follow with the hopes that others can benefit from her wisdom.

The Myth of the Color Blind Society: Why it is Important to See Our Differences

The United States is a nation filled with diversity.  Since the early settlers came to continent people of different "racial" and ethnic backgrounds have shared this country.  Yet despite over 400 years of experience dealing with people of diverse backgrounds, it seems we all still struggle when it comes to speaking openly about our differences.  Often when the conversations arise one participant or another will advance the notion that we should not see color.  While this idea is well intentioned, ignoring the differences among us does more harm than good.

Color-blindness is misguided because it minimizes the value of diversity.  Now when I speak about color-blindness I am not talking about the physical differences.  I am speaking of the cultural differences that have evolved because of the perception of physical differences.  It is not important that individuals look different.  What is important to recognize is the diversity that has developed among people. The problem with the notion of color-blindness  is that it presumes that in order for people to coexist they must be the same.  It is impossible and undesirable for people of different cultural backgrounds to be the same and that should not be the goal.

It may however, be uncomfortable at first for people to embrace the differences among us.  But in order to make progress, we must begin the process.   The reason we must recognize and embrace diversity is intuitive.  Imagine a painting with only one color.  Imagine a garden with only of flower. Imagine dinner with only meat.  All of those things are one dimensional.  What would make each of these examples better is the introduction of variation.  We embrace variation when it comes to art or gardening and food because it makes the experience richer.  The same holds true for cultural diversity.  The differences among us make our combined experiences richer and often more productive.

Although I am an advocate of diversity, I also believe it should be approached thoughtfully.  It is not enough to place people of different cultures together in a room and ask them to hold hands.  For companies considering diversity initiatives aimed at consumers and employees it is not enough to make a statement about a commitment to diversity.  I once worked for a firm that decided to recognize Black History Month.  The well-intentioned head of the firm sent out an e-mail announcing that we would recognize the month and directed each office to organize an event commemorating the month and report back.  I happened to be the only black person in my office, so my manager read the e-mail, walked into my office and asked what I wanted our office to do.  While the manager may have been well intentioned, the interaction made me extremely uncomfortable.  The interaction was uncomfortable because instead of embracing diversity it felt as though the firm was going through the motions of some sort of corporate reparations plan.  What they didn't understand was that retaining me had nothing to do with what the firm did for Black History Month.  What mattered was that they made an effort all year long to include me in the firm's culture and to respect and value how my background added value to the organization. 

Is Talking 'Race' Just a Red Herring?

'Race' is a red herring. Talking about color differences is preventing us from talking about the real cultural and social issues that prevent inclusion and fairness.

It may shock you to hear this but, there is no such thing as 'race.'

That's right, anthropologists have long said that the groupings people use to categorize different people based on outer appearance are nothing more than social constructs.  In fact, the most accepted view is that phenotypic characteristics vary more widely within "races" than they do between "races".  What's more, in different cultures racial groupings differ widely. Therefore anthropologists would say that any cultural differences among "races" are merely social. That is why when we speak about diversity we have to be careful to distinguish between issues of cultural difference and issues of physical difference.  That is also why as we begin thinking about diversity we must consider how issues of environment and class affect the social dynamic.

To put this into perspective, consider crime statistics.  According to  the American Anthropology Association's website a study conducted in New York City  found that blacks made up about 50% of all people who were stopped and frisked despite being only about a 25% of the population.  On the other hand, whites were about 13% of all people stopped, despite being more than 43% of the population. Interpreting these statistics with a purely racial approach could lead some to believe that the statistics are a reflection of racial differences in participation in crime.  Others might believe that it reflects racial biases among police officers.  The more nuanced approach may in fact, be that assumptions about race are masking the real issues of class and environment.  In essence, it is not the fact that we look different that is the problem, it's the fact that the differences in how we look have had a profound effect on the class structure in our society.

If this is true then, race is a red herring. Talking about color differences is preventing us from talking about the real cultural and social issues that prevent inclusion and fairness.  Take a few minutes to challenge your views on "race" and let me know what you think.   Project Implicit developed a test to measure unconscious racism that you can take here.   Follow this link to the American Anthropolgy Associations Race website to learn about assumptions concerning race.

 

Can I Ask You Something? - Cultural Questions In the Work Place

As America's workplaces becomes increasingly diverse, people of diverse backgrounds find themselves interacting more frequently.  With that frequent interaction, curiosity about cultural differences is inevitable.  It would seem that if we know more about each other's cultural norms we might be able to relate to each other more effectively.  But too often good intentions go terribly wrong and what was intended to be cultural exploration can lead to huge problems. While I make no claims to speak for all minorities in the workplace, I will suggest a few tips to minimize the potential for misunderstanding.

• Before asking any cultural questions, make sure that the person you are asking is comfortable with the subject matter.

Excelling in the workplace is about fitting in.  Some minorities may not feel comfortable talking about issues of race and ethnicity because it highlights an aspect about them that is different. Further, the person you ask may be uncomfortable speaking for an entire race of people or simply resent being burdened with satisfying your curiosity.

• Be very cautious when asking cultural questions around subordinates.

Asking these types of questions to subordinates can be dangerous because it could be used against you. If you later make a decision with respect to that employee that he or she perceives to be unfair, you may find that the question is included as evidence of racial insensitivity in an EEOC Charge.

• Be very cautious when asking cultural questions around superiors.

Asking this type of question of the wrong way could stymie your career whether you know it or not.  First, your superiors may question your judgment.  Second, if for some reason you are unable to ask the question in a culturally sensitive way, you may offend a people who have your future in your hands.

• Think about the question before you ask.

No matter how curious you may be, there are somethings that are better left unasked.  Ask yourself if this is something you really need to know for business reasons.  If it isn't business related, it may be better to ask a non-work friend.

• Phrase your questions appropriately.

Think about is how you want to convey the questions before you speak.  Do not mimic, mock or alter your speech or mannerisms in an effort to identify with the co-worker. If you cannot do this, you should tread lightly.

The Black Attorney and "Hair" - Perception and Power

 

A lot has been said about black women's hair recently, due in large part to the Don Imus controversy.  What many in main stream society may not have noticed is that a debate has been raging for years in the black community over what black women can and should do with our hair.  Throughout most of our lives, many black women have been told that in order to get professional jobs and be successful we must straighten our hair.  Download hair_in_the_workplace.pdf

As a result of that pervasive message, most people who are not black do not see many black women's natural hair on a regular basis, and unfortunately, when we have dared to show our hair in its natural state, we have been branded militant.  Up until recently, I like many others, have chosen to conform to this norm rather than fight the stereotype.  The truth is that I have been conforming to this norm for so long that I am not at all sure what my hair actually looks like.

Recently, I became a solo practitioner, and I began to realize that I now have the ability to set my own rules.  I set my own hours, my rate of pay and I decide what is an acceptable display of office grooming.  I guess somehow drunk with my new found power, I decided to make the transition from relaxed to natural hair.  I did it mostly because I wanted to be more physically active and having relaxed hair makes it difficult to have "wash and wear" hair.  (This problem is so pervasive that Harvard University developed a 24 page booklet designed to encourage black women to work out by suggesting ways to maintain a neat hair style while exercising. Download feeling_fit.pdf ) I didn't make this decision in an effort to buck the system or challenge societal grooming norms, but the perception may be that I did and that could have a negative effect on my career

Consequences?  What Consequences?

The choice to go natural has consequences and I make this choice despite the potential career pitfalls. The consequences of wearing natural hair are numerous.  First, many people in society as a whole have negative images of people who do not conform to societal expectations of their appearance.  Those negative images naturally carry over into professional settings.  Just last year Six Flags Amusement Parks drew scrutiny when it began enforcing a policy that prohibited its employees from wearing many natural hair styles. Download six_flags.pdf While the company apparantly backed away from the policy when it made news, many other companies have similar policies, some more egregious than this one.

However, when the issue is whether a client will retain you or a jury will relate to you, the analysis is somewhat different.  Will my decision to accept my hair in its natural state render me less effective as a lawyer?  Will I even know why they did not retain me?  It may well be that there will be clients who choose not to retain me because of my hair.  I don't know how this will play itself out.  For now, I am going to presume that society is ready to embrace me as I am. I will let you know how that goes.